Broken part of me

How do I make use of my pen and paper I've been with you thru everything every sunny day every rainy day thru the ups and downs the good and the bad I was there with you when you was at your worst weathered every storm with you but lately I feel a bit down cause no matter how hard I try to reach out to you. You just keep pushing me down I've even gone as far as isolating myself from everyone couped up in a room with just me and silence screaming and shouting at the top of my lungs but no one hears me just silence as I'm being consumed by my own pain. Being eaten alive from the inside but yet I carry on pretending everything is ok while I'm suffering in silence but yet nobody seems to notice it comes down to a point where I lost the will to fight Im at a point in time where I can't weather the storm no more completely drained powerless lost confused

On the brink of giving up but to tired to throw in the towel wondering on as if i lost my way praying that I'll come out alive on the other side voice's in my head willing me on to keep fighting to keep pushing telling me it's not time to give up yet but yet what's the point fighting a battle when you've already Lost the war.