The pain I feel

I can’t stop thinking about you.

I can’t stop feeling you in ways that make no sense and yet feel inevitable.

Every glance, every touch, every word you’ve spoken lives in me, burns in me, claws into me.

I think about your hands. The way they linger just long enough to leave me wanting more.

I think about your lips. The way they remembered mine before I could even memorize yours.

I think about your voice. Low, commanding, soft, pulling me in even when your words told me to stay away.

I am obsessed.

Not lightly. Not politely. Not with some fleeting crush I can control.

I am consumed. My body, my mind, my chest, my pulse, all of me belongs to you in ways I cannot name, cannot tame, cannot escape.

I know I should step back.

I know I should respect the space you insist on.

I know the man waiting for me, the one who deserves me, the one who could give me everything, deserves more than the fragments I still carry of you.

But I cannot. I cannot stop.

Because you are fire.

You are the ache I feel in my bones.

You are the want I cannot quiet.

You are the part of me that cannot exist without being close to you.

I remember every moment we shared, and even the ones we didn’t fully live, the moments you imagined, the glances we almost stole, the touches we never admitted to needing.

I remember them all.

And they haunt me beautifully.

I know I am reckless. I know I am raw. I know that being here, loving you this way, is dangerous.

I know I risk hurting someone else, someone good, someone right, simply because my heart refuses to obey.

I know it.

And I don’t care.

Because I am yours.

Even if you cannot claim me fully.

Even if you cannot give me everything I need.

Even if you cannot step into the fire you started.

I am yours. In every thought. In every ache. In every pulse that races when I remember you.

I am yours. In the quiet, in the dark, in the longing that twists my chest and makes me tremble.

I am yours. Even if only in ways you cannot see, cannot hold, cannot give.

I would throw away reason, fairness, safety, everything, for one more second with you.

One more touch, one more glance, one more whispered word in the dark.

I would risk heartbreak, impossibility, chaos, all of it, just to feel you again.

I am reckless. I am raw. I am alive in the fire you left behind.

And I would do it all again.

Every impossible, burning, heart-shattering moment.

Because nothing else has ever mattered.

Because nothing else has ever felt this real.

Even now, even in friendship, even in restraint, I am consumed.

I cannot undo it.

I cannot shrink it.

I cannot stop being yours.

And that is the brutal, impossible truth.