**[Intro]**
New year.
Same habits.
Same ghosts with new outfits.
I’m done pretending this is growth.
**[Verse 1]**
I carry rooms full of people that never stayed,
Conversations I rehearsed that rotted in my brain.
Every promise felt conditional, love came with a lease,
I kept paying in advance just to buy a little peace.
I learned early: affection’s a moving goalpost,
Be useful, be quiet, don’t ever be the slow one.
I turned trauma into talent, called it discipline,
Now they clap for the damage like I chose this shit.
I’m hyper-aware, over-prepared, under-loved,
I mistake tension for chemistry, silence for trust.
I don’t miss people, I miss who I was pretending to be,
Back when abandonment still felt hypothetical to me.
**[Pre-Chorus]**
You don’t leave all at once—
You erode.
And I keep the blame ‘cause it’s lighter than hope.
**[Chorus]**
New year, same me—sorry, not sorry,
I tried forgiveness, it bored me.
I set myself on fire just to keep you warm,
Now I’m cold, now I’m honest, now I’m gone.
If this sounds bitter, good—
It’s supposed to.
I’m done romanticizing the shit that broke me.
**[Verse 2]**
I confuse loyalty with endurance,
Stayed too long just to prove I was pure in it.
I paid for dinners, time, therapy sessions,
Called it generosity—you called it expectation.
Equal was the plan, then it turned to handouts,
Cute when it started, now it’s just played out.
You wore your mess like a personality trait,
Then wondered why I didn’t want it on my plate.
I’m tired of carrying weight that isn’t mine,
Tired of “you changed” when I just drew a line.
I didn’t save you ‘cause I couldn’t even save myself,
I just liked the noise—it drowned out the help.
**[Pre-Chorus]**
I stayed ‘cause leaving felt like failure,
Turns out staying was worse.
**[Chorus]**
New year, same me—no redemption arc,
No clean slate, just a bigger scar.
I burned bridges I built with my bare hands,
Watched them fall, finally understand.
If you think this is cruel, good—
I needed teeth.
I’m done being gentle with what keeps killing me.
**[Bridge]**
I don’t hate you—I hate who I became around you.
Small, reactive, apologizing for existing.
I learned how to disappear in plain sight,
Smile through it, drink through it, sleep through life.
Every time I ignored my gut, it got louder,
Now it screams and I listen—this is power.
**[Breakdown / Fast Section]**
I’m not healed, I’m aware—big difference,
I don’t need closure, I need distance.
I don’t need peace, I need honesty,
And honesty says most of you drained me.
I’m not evolving—I’m shedding skin,
If you don’t recognize me, that’s the win.
**[Final Chorus]**
New year, same me—weaponized clarity,
No saviors left, just accountability.
I survived shit I never talk about,
This is me talking now.
If you’re uncomfortable—
That’s growth.
Just not mine.
**[Outro]**
Sorry not sorry.
I kept the damage.
I l
extra_unbearable
