Ghost

Umm I have a lot of baggage and ghosts and demons. In my happy that it didn't work yes and no for the yes part I know I have so much to live for and everything that I am working for right now I'll be gone, and for the no part ever since I was six years old, I wanted to be gone. I have no parents I have no one here even when I open up I'm still alone because they don't really understand and then it takes too long to explain to them why I'm not happy all my traumas being afraid all the time is exhausting trying to find excuse for people and maybe one day I will be OK but for right now I life is a book. I'm stuck on the same page. I live it over and over again and when I do tell people they give me this look, or they judging, sometimes I wish that I can say I made it. I overcame the biggest, hardest, excruciating pain but I can't. I'm always gonna be in pain. I'm always gonna be scared it doesn't stop. There is so much stuff you don't know and I gotta tell you before right now I won't do anything stupid and yes, I am "happy ". Grateful not happy to be here