[Verse 1]
Wake up to confetti screens
Blue balloons inside my phone
Everybody shining teeth
I can’t find my way back home
High-fives in the hallway
They talk like I should stay
But every laugh feels sideways
Like I’m paper on a rainy day
[Pre-Chorus]
I clap on cue
I dance on beat
But it’s see-through
Every time I speak
[Chorus]
Heaven’s door is closed to me
But the band keeps playing
Playing
Smiling like it’s all I need
While my heart keeps breaking
Breaking
Hands up
Plastic ecstasy
Sing along like we believe
Heaven’s door is closed to me
So we fake happy
Fake happy
[Verse 2]
Birthday cake in the break room
Candles
I just watch them drip
Make a wish I’ll never say
Swallow it with every sip
They say “love the little things”
Like this coffee
Like this view
I nod along on autopilot
Thinking what if this is all I do
[Pre-Chorus]
I cheer on cue
I pose
I freeze
But the truth bleeds through
In the spaces in between
[Chorus]
[Bridge]
[low vocal register] All these party lights
Can’t touch the dark inside
If there’s a gate up in the sky
Guess my name’s not on that sign
[full voice
Gang vocals] So we toast to what we lack
Laugh so loud it drowns the cracks
If grace was made for everyone
Why do I feel turned back?
[Chorus]