[Verse]
Brandon the wizard his beard fiery bright
He dances through towns before fading from sight
He inspects hobbit holes their flaws to detect
His wand's always glowing with spells to perfect
[Chorus]
Oh Brandon oh Brandon your tale’s quite a sight
With vegetables massive and eggs that ignite
The elf maidens giggle and blush as you start
Your crazy adventures your magical art
[Verse 2]
He cracks out his wand for the pumpkins to grow
With carrots so big they can block up the flow
Of rivers through valleys of emerald green
While elf maidens squeal at their size unforeseen
[Chorus]
Oh Brandon oh Brandon a wizard bizarre
Your lifestyle’s as odd as your egg-smell bazaar
The locals all laugh and they cheer when you pass
For hobbits and elves love your gassy free class
[Bridge]
One day in a hole so deep and profound
Brandon declared it the best he had found
He marked it with radishes grown like a tree
And claimed it as home where his soul could be free
[Verse 3]
At twilight he sings atop hills made of stone
With his ginger locks wild and his egg-farts well known
The elf maidens gather with laughter and glee
To honor their wizard who's stranger than he