Verse 1
Nineteen with a head full of noise,
Bills on the dresser, panic in my voice.
House full of ghosts, no family to lean on,
Learned how to bleed quiet, learned how to be strong.
Stress got a chokehold, breath comes in fragments,
Doctors say “time,” but the damage still hasn’t
Let go of my chest or loosened its grip,
I smile in public, inside I still slip.
Pre-Chorus
I don’t know when I stopped feeling pain,
Or if I’m healing or just going numb again.
Chorus
Tell me I’m real if you see me breathe,
‘Cause I don’t feel alive, I just exist in between.
Heart on mute, no highs, no lows,
I’m screaming inside but it don’t even echo.
Nineteen years old, feel a hundred deep,
Tryna wake up from a life that don’t feel like me.
Verse 2
Trauma don’t knock, it kicks in the door,
Shows up uninvited like it’s paid rent before.
Flashbacks hit harder than fists ever did,
I dissociate just to protect the kid.
I stare at my hands like they don’t belong,
Mirror don’t recognize who I’ve become.
Memories blur, days fold into nights,
I’m here but I’m gone — it don’t feel right.
Pre-Chorus
I laugh at the jokes but I don’t feel joy,
I learned how to survive before I learned how to be a boy.
Chorus
Tell me I’m real if you hear my name,
‘Cause I feel like a shadow in my own damn frame.
Heart on mute, no highs, no lows,
I’m drowning in silence nobody knows.
Nineteen years old, carrying scars,
Asking God if I’m human or just falling apart.
Bridge
If this is living, why does it feel fake?
Why do my emotions lag like a glitch in my brain?
I want to feel something — love, rage, fear,
Anything that proves I’m still here.
I’m tired of pretending I’m fine for the sake
Of people who never stayed when it was hard to stay awake.
Final Chorus
Tell me I’m real, say it slow, say it clear,
I’ve been lost in my head for too many years.
Heart on mute, but it’s still beating somehow,
Even numbness gotta mean I’m alive right now.
Nineteen years old, still standing somehow,
If I’m broken, I swear I’ll rebuild me from now.
Outro
If I’m breathing, I’m real — even if I don’t feel it yet.
999Higgens
