Absent

The day moves past me without resistance
hours collapsing into one another
indistinguishable

I sit with the same thoughts
turning them over
waiting for them to change

They never do

The room feels heavier than it should
like the air has settled
and decided to stay

Every object in this place remembers something
that I try not to

Small details remain
the shape of a shadow
the sound of movement in another room
the quiet pause before someone used to speak

I notice them more now

There is a strange clarity in absence

The mind begins filling space with repetition
running through the same fragments
the same unfinished sentences

I try to let them pass
but they circle back

Sleep does not reset anything
it only pauses the cycle

Morning arrives
and the same weight returns with it

People speak
voices overlap
conversations continue

but the distance between their words
and where I am
keeps growing

I answer when expected
nod when necessary

The performance continues

Sometimes I wonder
when this separation began

Not a moment
not an event

Just a gradual shift
barely noticeable

Like the tide pulling away from the shore

Leaving everything exposed

I walk through familiar places
and nothing feels altered
yet something has clearly moved

The structure of things remains
but whatever held meaning together
has loosened

Now everything exists in fragments

Memories without warmth
conversations without presence
days without direction

The quiet stretches longer each night

And eventually
even the mind stops asking questions

Not because answers were found

But because the act of searching
became exhausting

So the thoughts settle

And the silence
stays where it is

unchanged

male, metal, death metal, deathcore, brutal deathcore, depressive, doom metal, downtempo, metalcore, hardcore, glitch