[Verse 1]
Taylor woke up itchy, red dots from head to toe,
Doc said “Measles, kid, you’re grounded, take it slow.”
But Taylor grabbed a shotgun, said “I ain’t playin’ host,
These poxy little bastards are about to meet a ghost!”
[Chorus]
OHHH, Taylor’s got the measles, but the measles got it worse!
Loaded up with buckshot, put the virus in a hearse!
One by one he hunted ‘em, through fever and through flame,
Taylor killed the measles—now they’ll never say his name!
[Verse 2]
He stalked ‘em in the mirror, saw ‘em crawlin’ on his skin,
Blasted every blister with a devil-may-care grin.
“Antibodies? Pfft, I brought a .12 gauge surprise,
You rashy little cowards, time to meet your demise!”
[Chorus]
OHHH, Taylor’s got the measles, but the measles got it worse!
Loaded up with buckshot, put the virus in a hearse!
One by one he hunted ‘em, through fever and through flame,
Taylor killed the measles—now they’ll never say his name!
[Bridge]
He coughed up little coffins, each one carved with “R.I.P.”,
Spat ‘em in the toilet, flushed ‘em out to sea.
The CDC called screamin’, “This ain’t how it’s done!”
Taylor just laughed, “Tell it to my gun.”
[Verse 3]
Now the spots are gone, but the legend’s here to stay,
Taylor’s front porch trophy: a jar of measles DNA.
He drinks a beer and hollers to the sky so vast and blue,
“Come back any time, germs—I got rounds for you!”
[Final Chorus – Double-Time]
YEAHHH, Taylor beat the measles, left ‘em bleedin’ in the dirt!
No vaccine, no mercy, just a rash that really hurt!
If you hear a cough at night, better run and lock your door,
Taylor’s on the prowl again—he’s settin’ virus scores!
(End with a wild banjo solo and Taylor yelling “GET VACCINATED, YA FILTHY GERMS!”)
