[Intro]
(Beat: A dramatic orchestral hit followed by a funky, walking bass)
(Every day... it’s a performance)
"Luigi! Don't touch that! I just cleaned it!"
Yeah.
Welcome to the show.
Check it.
[Verse 1]
(Beat: Snappy drums and a groovy guitar scratch)
He’s patrolling the perimeter, checking every light
Making sure the pasta water’s salted just right
He’s got a list of grievances a mile long
About the neighbors' music and the way I sing a song
He’s pacing in the kitchen in his favorite robe
Like he’s the secret emperor of the whole entire globe.
[Pre-Chorus]
(Beat: The energy climbs with fast-paced handclaps)
And my heart starts skipping (Skipping!)
The rhythm is hitting (Hitting!)
When he starts his "When I was your age" admitting
I’m looking for a way just to make a move
To get my two boys back in the groove!
Mamma Mia!
[Chorus]
(Beat: Massive horn section—loud, brassy, and anthemic)
In The House of Italian Father, the volume is high
He’s shouting for Luigi to the ceiling and the sky
I’ve been in a daze since you walked on by
The crankiest man that money can’t buy!
(Whoa-oh-oh!)
Yeah, he’s salty and he’s loud!
(Whoa-oh-oh!)
But he’s the only one who makes me proud!
[Verse 2]
(Vocal: Rhythmic and theatrical)
"Luigi! Why is there a crumb on the floor?!"
He’s acting like the crust is starting a war
He’s judging the espresso, he’s judging the cheese
He’s judging the way the wind blows through the trees
But then he’s making coffee and he’s singing a tune
And the whole house is dancing by the middle of the afternoon.
[Bridge]
(Music: Everything drops out – just a pulsing bass and a loud "LUIGI, COME HERE!")
I’m waiting on you...
Tell me, whatcha gonna do?
(Vocal: A massive, operatic, pop-star belt)
YEAH, YOU’RE THE ONE!
THE LECTURE’S NEVER DONE!
[Outro]
(The horns play a "victory" melody as the beat fades)
The House of Italian Father.
(Luigi, put the phone away and eat!)
"I'm not shouting, I'm expressing myself!"
(Yeah)
Basta! (Who changed the channel?!)
JAdaxxx
