Poseidon Throws a Tantrum

[Intro]
[Choir
Mock-solemn]
In the kingdom of the waves
Where the seaweed gently sways
There’s a fellow with a trident
And a temper that misbehaves
[Verse 1]
Ten sailors on a pleasure cruise
Said
“Myths are so last year”
They toasted with tiny paper drinks
“We’re science folks
My dear”
[Choir
Whisper]
(He heard that)
Poseidon in his bubble bath
Dropped his rubber duck in shock
“Did someone just doubt my existence?”
He stormed out in a frothy frock
[Chorus]
Oh Poseidon throws a tantrum
When you say he’s just a tale
He’ll frizz your hair with salty air
And cancel all your sail
He’ll misplace every flip-flop
Turn your sunscreen into glue
Poseidon throws a tantrum
When you say he isn’t true
[Verse 2]
He summoned up a mighty squall
(Well… mildly brisk at best)
The deckchairs scooted two feet left
A gull flew off impressed
He tried a fearsome thunderclap
It came out more “a-choo!”
A jellyfish applauded once
Then drifted out of view
[Chorus]
Oh Poseidon throws a tantrum
Over every little doubt
He’ll rearrange your luggage tags
And flip your maps about
He’ll soak your fancy dinner suit
With one well-timed stray wave
Poseidon throws a tantrum
Like a god who needs a shave
[Bridge]
[Call-and-response]
Tenors: “Is that all you’ve got
Old man?”
Basses: “Where’s the whirlpool
Where’s the plan?”
Altos: “Did we hurt your feelings
Sir?”
Sopranos: “Should we praise your facial fur?” (la-la!)
[Choir
Mock-epic]
He rose up from the foaming deep
In sandals trimmed with kelp
His beard full of misplaced car keys
A starfish on his belt
“You dare to doubt my mighty name?”
He thundered… then he slipped
On a rogue banana peel
From a cruise ship midnight trip
[Chorus]
Oh Poseidon throws a tantrum
When the crowd refuses awe
He’ll fog your fancy eyeglass frames
With steamy
Sulky squall
He’ll swap your deck for seaweed
Give your captain squeaky shoes
Poseidon throws a tantrum
But he still comped all the booze
[Outro]
[Choir
Grand and cheesy]
So raise a glass to ocean gods
If only just in jest
‘Cause anger’s hard to take too hard
In a toga and a vest
For all his splash and thunder
He just wants a little cheer
Sing
“We believe you
Poseidon!”
So he’ll let us park right here (amen!)

Big-band-era orchestra with lush strings, plucky clarinets, and swaggering brass hits; mixed choir in tight, witty harmonies. Starts like a grand golden-age musical overture, then swings into a tongue-in-cheek march. Call-and-response between choir sections, comedic asides, and a climactic, over-the-top final cadence with cymbal crash and held choir chord., comedy, theme