Selfishly Bitter

Yeah…

I ain’t asking for the past back.

I ain’t asking you to love me again.

I’m asking you to let me be his father.

That’s all…

You can hate me, you can blame me,

For everything we couldn’t be,

But why you gotta make our son

Pay for what happened between you and me?

You know I lay awake at night,

Wondering if he thinks I’m gone,

Wondering if he asks about me,

Wondering if he thinks I moved on.

Every birthday cuts a little deeper,

Every picture that I see,

I smile knowing he’s my baby,

But it hurts knowing he needs me.

You took your anger and built a wall,

Then put our little boy behind it,

And every time I reach for him,

You find another way to deny it.

You can keep me from your heart,

But don’t keep me from my son,

Don’t punish him for something

That his father never done.

I’m missing all his moments,

While you’re holding onto hate,

One day he’ll ask the question,

“Why you kept my daddy away?”

I’m not fighting you anymore,

I’m fighting for my little man,

You may be bitter toward me,

But I pray someday you’ll understand.

I would’ve swallowed all my pride

Just to hear him call my name,

Would’ve driven through the night

Just to watch him play a game.

I don’t need to be your husband,

I don’t need another chance,

I just need a little doorway

So I can be the father I am.

Don’t use him as a weapon

When you’re angry with his dad,

Because every time you block me,

You take something from him too, and that’s sad.

He’s got my blood inside his veins,

My smile and probably my flaws,

And I pray he grows up knowing

His daddy never stopped loving him at all.

Maybe someday he’ll understand

There were two sides to the fight,

But I hope he knows I never quit—

I was reaching for him every night.

You can keep me from your heart,

But don’t keep me from my son,

Don’t punish him for something

That his father never done.

I’m missing all his moments,

While you’re holding onto hate,

One day he’ll ask the question,

“Why you kept my daddy away?”

I’m not fighting you anymore,

I’m fighting for my little man,

You may be bitter toward me,

But I pray someday you’ll understand.