Conflicted Obsession

I didn’t mean to feel this fast

Didn’t plan on looking back

Just two souls talking after dark

Finding comfort in the cracks

You say I feel like home to you

But you don’t stay the night

You hold me like you’re scared to lose me

But you won’t choose the fight

You say I’m the best thing

That happened this year

But you whisper the future

Like it’s something you fear

You want me close, but not too close

You want my heart, but not the oath

You pull me in, then pull away

Like loving me costs more than staying

I’m standing here, halfway through

Between wanting and choosing you

And I don’t know if love should feel

Like something real you can’t make real

You watch the clock when I leave

Ask if I’m home, where I go

You say trust is everything

But still you need to know

You don’t want to share my name

But won’t let me be free

You want the parts that calm your storms

But not the whole of me

I give you laughter, skin and truth

You give me maybes dressed as proof

You want me close, but not too close

You want my heart, but not the oath

You say “mine” when lights are low

But hide me when the world might know

I’m standing here, loving you

While you’re deciding what you’ll do

And I don’t know if love should stay

If it’s afraid to choose a way

I’m not asking for forever tonight

I’m not begging you to change your life

I just need to know when you say my name

You’re not running from the flame

‘Cause I can be patient, I can be kind

But I won’t disappear inside

Someone else’s doubt, someone else’s fear

While calling it love just to keep you near

I feel you when you touch my face

I feel you when you hold me still

But silence speaks when day breaks

And wanting isn’t choosing still

I want a love that walks in light

Not one that only lives at night

Not one that shakes when truth appears

Or trades a future for its fears

If you want me, say it whole

If you love me, take the road

‘Cause I won’t beg to be believed

I won’t shrink to be kept

So if you find your courage soon

I’ll meet you where the brave ones do

But if you stay between the lines

I’ll choose myself and leave behind

The almosts, maybes, almost you

I deserve a love that chooses too