Jealous of the Living (Self-Inflicted)

I hate the way you look at me,

Like I’m something worth your envy.

they don’t even care, they just want to see you fail

But when I’m alone, I can’t deny,

I want your peace, your ordinary life.

you’ll never have it, stop pretending you could

JEALOUSY IS A VIRUS,

EATING THROUGH MY SKIN.

(*it feels good to rot, doesn’t it?*)

I HATE WHAT I LOATHE,

BUT I’M BECOMING IT.

You’re jealous of me, but I’d throw it all away,

FOR A NORMAL LIFE I CAN NEVER CLAIM.

you’ll never belong, you’ll always decay

I’m the hero in your story while I waste away,

SAVING EVERYONE ELSE WHILE I ROT IN MY PLACE.

You think I’m strong, but I’m crumbling fast,

BURNING OUT WHILE YOU CLAP AND LAUGH.

they’ll never save you, you’re just a tool*

I gave too much and got nothing back,

I’M A MARTYR, A FOOL, A FRAUD IN BLACK.

*and you like it that way, don’t you?*

I HATE YOU FOR WANTING WHAT I NEVER HAD.

(*but you’ll never get it either*)

I HATE MYSELF FOR WANTING IT BACK.

(*they’ll always have more than you*)

JEALOUS OF THE LIVING, ENVIOUS OF PEACE.

(*you don’t deserve it, you don’t deserve it*)

A MARTYR WITH NO PURPOSE—

JUST A WRETCHED DISEASE.

You’re jealous of me, but I’d throw it all away,

FOR A NORMAL LIFE I CAN NEVER CLAIM.

worthless, pathetic, rotten

You see a savior, but I’m digging my grave,

PROTECTING THE WORLD WHILE I SLIP AWAY.

I hate your envy…

but I envy your love.

AND IT’S TEARING ME APART.

you’ll die jealous. you’ll die alone.