My Dog’s Not My Wife

[Verse 1]
Took my hound for a walk down the gravel road
Sun on my neck, red dirt on my toes
Neighbor’s mutt came struttin’, tail held high
Next thing I know, he’s climbin’ her from behind
[Chorus]
Am I my dog’s cuck?
That ain’t how this works
She don’t pay my bills
She just digs in the dirt
I scoop her poop, I buy her snacks
But I ain’t in that kind of love, that’s facts
Am I my dog’s cuck?
Buddy, that’s just a dog act
[Verse 2]
He’s doin’ his thing, I’m standin’ there dumb
Thinkin’ ’bout the internet, what I’ve become
But she chases squirrels, not handsome men
She sleeps on the couch and drools on my friends
[Chorus]
Am I my dog’s cuck?
Man, I fed her at dawn
I’m the snack machine
She’s the one with the yawn
If another dog bumps, that’s just their mess
I’m still the fool buyin’ treats and a vest
Am I my dog’s cuck?
No, I’m just owned by a pet, I guess
[Bridge]
I’m her chauffeur, her chef, her maid (oh yeah)
But I didn’t sign up for a jealous parade
If she finds romance in the old dog run
I’ll still be the guy pickin’ up when she’s done
[Chorus]
Am I my dog’s cuck?
Let’s clear this up
I love that mutt
But I ain’t her plus-one
I’m her ride, her roof, her bowl of chow
If that’s a triangle, I’m laughin’ right now
Am I my dog’s cuck?
Nah, I’m just her human clown

country, Playful front-porch country with bright banjo rolls, brushed snare, and upright bass; male vocals with a wink. Verses stay tight and talky, chorus swings with crowd-sing energy and clapped backbeat. Occasional fiddle fills answer the vocal; keep the tone humorous and laid-back.