I’m not surprised you look at me with despise why would I surprised I was the one who fed you so many lies swearing to tell you the truth painting you a fool at another time not being able to express in words I hug you and rhyme ones that you’ll never hear because with a life so repetitive all I can do is smoke to pass the time with all of these pint emotions inside a different life I have to hide I’m not having fun on either of these rides dear mother I wish I could read minds actually I wish you could read mines because I can’t tell you all the pain that I’ve been or all this trauma I’ve been through that never should have happened why did you always have to be yelling when everyone else was laughing dear mother I died inside lost my spark and swallowed my pride I wish you could have heard all the silent nights that I’ve cried a tear fallen every time you looked at me inside dear mother I know you wish I was different but what can I do how do I make up all of the wrong I did to you but mother I am who I am and I hope you’ll grow to understand but I know you’ll never be my biggest fan I’m sorry to your face I have to lie but dear mother know I tried