Solitary game play - experimental

[funky lo-fi groove, wobbly, vocals forward, clear enunciated vocals, Feist meets Fiona Apple, slow deliberate phrasing, every word forward in mix]
[intro] 
I shouldn't feel this way 
This shouldn't be happening
[verse] 
That thought arrives first 
Then another quickly follows 
And inside the circle 
The feelings start stacking
Annoyed — yeah 
Tired — sure 
Frustrated — fine 
Disgusted — wait
And almost immediately 
The verdict arrives 
I should be different
[pre-chorus] 
The judgment doesn't stay small 
Oh no It spirals
Rejection, hatred, shame 
Each loop tightening 
Until the center thought appears
[chorus] 
I'm a bullshit person 
Not — I'm having a hard moment 
Not — this feeling hurts 
But a whole identity 
Built from a passing state
Fix it Force it Push it away 
Like untangling a knot By pulling harder
I'm a bullshit person 
And I know that's not true 
But right now It really feels like it
[verse] 
Negativity goes physical 
Like carrying a dead weight 
Vision narrows 
Movement goes automatic
Moving through the world To distorted perceptions That feel completely real

[break] 
Maybe I just can't hack it On the Earth plane 

[verse]
Entrapped in ignorance 
A victim of circumstance 
Powerless, hopeless, helpless
And at the center of the whole structure
 Sits a small sun Labeled — Ego
My suffering 
My failures 
My misery 
My very important needs
Everything pointing Back to the same Exhausting Center

Oh, to be human

[chorus] 
I'm a bullshit person 
Not — I'm having a hard moment 
Not — this feeling hurts But a whole identity 
Built from a passing state
Fix it Force it Push it away Like untangling a knot By pulling harder
I'm a bullshit person And I know that's not true But right now It really feels like it

[bridge] 
Can the shell break already If the discomfort gets intense enough Maybe it will crack something open
Maybe it's not punishment Maybe it's pressure
[silence]

I know the light is there But something thick is in the way

[pause]
A dense fog Not the absence of light Just something keeping me From perceiving it

[spoken] 
Lord please
If I am your yo-yo Please flick your wrist And bring me back

[chorus] 
Underneath the spiral Underneath all of it There is a much simpler longing
To rest To rest in the palm Of something larger
For a moment Or maybe For eternity

[outro] 

I shouldn't feel this way

[pause]

And yet Here I am
And that's enough

Indie minimalist spiritual female vocals with chakra tuned crystal singing bowls amplified and sound bath, warm, tender