[Verse 1]
It was “baby, eat your dinner”
it was “call me when you home”
then one day that chair was empty
I been talkin’ to a phone
Step mom Carolyn
you ain’t even my blood
but you held my whole world
like it was some fragile cup
You the only one who checked me
when I wanted to quit
told me “you ain’t what they say”
now I’m replayin’ that clip
I been searchin’ every silence
for the sound of your laugh
tryin’ to find the old me
buried back in the past
[Chorus]
I lost myself twice
once with you, once with him (yeah)
cryin’ in the dark
tryna learn how to live
Step mom Carolyn
Father Manolito
every exit took a piece
left a hole in my soul
I lost myself twice
can I get myself back? (myself back)
Talkin’ to the sky
like “where you at, where you at?”
[Verse 2]
Father Manolito
you was there, then you gone
like a song on the radio
that they never replay long
In and out of my seasons
like a door in the wind
I was hopin’ you’d be stable
you was ghostin’ again
Then the news hit quiet
like a punch in the chest
all the words we never said
gettin’ stuck in my breath
Now I’m usin’ every heartbeat
like a pen on this page
tryna build a better man
from the hurt and the rage (yeah)
[Chorus]
I lost myself twice
once with you, once with him
cryin’ in the dark
tryna learn how to swim
Step mom Carolyn
Father Manolito
every exit took a piece
left a hole in my soul
I lost myself twice
but I’m walkin’ this map (keep walkin’)
If I carry y’all in me
then I ain’t ever that lost, that lost (yeah)