Inner flame of pain and growth

Im not someone that likes to expose my emotional grief but I want to try to assist anyone who might be helped if I actually allow myself to relive the moments I truly felt the deepest painful feelings that my self has ever had to endure. Its taught me how to sit with my feelings in deep thought reflecting all the situations and decisions made leading to immense regret so I come to process these parts of my heartl aching deeply in painful silent screams no actual sound let out though all my tears invisible as I let them pour out from my soul what I gained from holding space without judgment or clinging to attach to desire to stop the hurt or hide from the pain maybe make myself become distracted simply to waste time and let the things I go through briefly find rest and relief even if only temporary no I would rather make the choice instead to enjoy the moments I get to be put into a place I get to know me at the depths of my lowest versions of brokenness and rage as I watch my self lose hope but atleast it helps me know who and what I am too my very core and I can process life no matter what I feel or must go through time after time. Its evolved me grown me changed me molded my flaws into strengths like a phoenix I kept letting the flames melt me into dust as then from the ashes rebirth what I get to have happen to me and my life only goes on and continues despite the bullshit I wish I could go back and change deleting the flawed decisions I might have decided I made