Paper Cups and Parking Lots

Half-warm coffee

Shaking in my hands

Your name on the lid

Smudged like my plans

You said “call me”

I stared at the screen

Typed out a novel

Erased every scene

I’m still parked outside your street

Engine off

But I can’t leave

Talking to the rearview

Like it’s you

Like it’s you

All these paper cups and parking lots

Know the things that you forgot

I keep holding on to almost

Till my fingers bleed right through

Your sweater in the trunk

Still smells like last July

I wear it when I’m tired

Of pretending I’m alright

Friends say I should move

Like it’s boxes and a truck

But you’re pinned to every corner

Of the life I never packed up

I’m still parked outside your street

Engine off

But I can’t leave

Talking to the rearview

Like it’s you

Like it’s you

All these paper cups and parking lots

Know the things that you forgot

I keep holding on to almost

Till my fingers bleed right through

If I drive away

Does it make it real

That you’re not coming back

That this is how it feels?

So I circle the block

Same three songs

Same thoughts

Every red light

Is just one more shot (at you)

I’m still parked outside your street

Engine off

But I can’t leave

Talking to the rearview

Like it’s you

Like it’s you

All these paper cups and parking lots

Know the things that you forgot

I keep holding on to almost

Till my fingers bleed right through

Half-warm coffee

Now it’s cold

Like us

I whisper “I’ll be okay”

But I don’t believe it yet