Vacation

I pulled up to my Airbnb, thought I’d finally get some rest,

Instead I saw a tweaker cleaning lady giving that gardener her best.

Rakes were flying, shirts were gone, what a crazy sight to see,

I just turned around and whispered, “This ain’t the place for me.”

Chorus

🎵 Dirty tweaker love, just mething around,

Causing all kinds of chaos in this little beach town.

I came for vacation, but I got a crime scene instead,

Dirty tweaker love… now it’s burned into my head. 🎵

Verse 2

I came back later, said, “Let’s give this place one shot.”

The key got stuck so bad I thought I’d break the damn lock.

I wiggled left, I wiggled right, I cussed a little too,

Finally the door swung open… wish it never would’ve.

Verse 3

The sheets were dirty as hell, the bathroom looked destroyed,

The smell hit me so hard, every ounce of joy was void.

I grabbed my bags, hit reverse, there wasn’t time to think,

I wasn’t staying one more second in that funky little stink.

Chorus

🎵 Dirty tweaker love, just mething around,

Ruining every Airbnb from here to Capitola town.

I wanted ocean views, got a horror movie instead,

Dirty tweaker love… now it’s living in my head. 🎵

Bridge

I texted the host, “Hey, this place ain’t clean.”

She said, “The cleaning lady’s coming.” Man, what do you mean?

Check-in was at four, now it’s six-thirty at night,

I said, “Just give me my refund, this ain’t worth the fight.”

Then here she comes running, chasing me down the road,

I’m punching that gas pedal with my truck in overload.

I yelled out the window, “You can keep the damn key!”

There ain’t enough Febreze to bring me back, you’ll see!

Final Chorus

🎵 Dirty tweaker love, just mething around,

I’m headed to Capitola, where sanity can be found.

No more busted keys or mystery stains in sight,

Just me and the highway disappearing into the night.

Dirty tweaker love… that’s one hell of a check-in story. 🎵