[Hook] Try not to pressure me Flares up my ADHD Called P D A Kicks in & takes me away [Verse 1] Pathological Demand Avoidance its a thing Turns a "want to do" Into a "HAVE to do it" thing Sets expectations I cant be late Starts sensations theres a lot at stake Gotta stay in control Cos if I dont, then I dont get to go Its not that I dont care Its the opposite, I swear I worry I'll fail Pressure intensifies focus on that 1 detail Cant be late Cant be late cant be late! That creates Crippling anxiety causes me to make mistakes To calm my nerves I dissociate Auto pilot distract & procrastinate Top priority is now these things I have to do & now I cant find my keys or my shoe Most of all I always have to Before I go anywhere I use the loo [Hook] [Bridge] 1st stone of stress My head & getting dressed 2nd 1 is you waiting ages & Im still a mess Theres still heaps to do, stone 3 That turbo charges anxiety & stone 4 takes our simple coffee & now its too much for me Im now an hour late Stomach hurts feel sick Im in pain Too tired & emotionally drained Can't stop thinkin Im always to blame Sinks me deep into shame So I push you away so I'll be ok Stop the pain & my constant ache Silence the voices in my head that say Things so cruel an evil hate Im so fuckin mad that I am This way [Rap verse] Here's why Its so maddening I'll be focused finally On a task I been needing to get done but was entirely Dependent on me To control my ADHD & anythin stoppin me Or distracts me Deactivates & unmotivates Reactivates me to procrastinate Its a miracle that only happens sporadically In alignment of motivation, time & energy Focus, life's schedule & most of all - money 1 less on my list only took a year That weight was becoming too much to bear Moment passes next heaviest there The struggle for time for me to repair Been almost 3 years since Ive had proper self care Life in the pressure valve everyday every week Is the biggest hurdle I need to beat Till I can stop PDA ruling me & the I hate myself rage fueling me 1 side is my shame The other is self blame Angers the referee of the game & since my friends & family have gone Gotta do it alone On my own My health shit, my ADHD As well as my responsibilities & there it is, back to the beginning the loop Im stuck in - complete & on repeat I cant stop it though so around again I go (Its like) Domino's in a line Branching off into 9 1 goes Then 2 more Butterfly effect triggers the vine Just wanna see how it all unwinds Cant watch all at one time So gotta run back & forth, quick! Anything in the way better move otherwise its Tick tick (Boom) Instant explosion! Rage at you or sink into hysterical emotion If it was your fault my wrath will unleash a jolt The dark 1s destruction Shows the intensity of disruption Of a moment gone forever Can't get it back ever & now I gotta save That person bein destroyed by my rage Ill ignore & take space My boundaries exist so If I lose control I won't destroy you & devour your soul [Hook]

PDA with ADHD