Real Me

Lemme sit down, turn off my frown,

Four EPs out, yeah they were me, but not now

Faith over fear, I preach it loud, then I fall

Hypocrite prayers bouncing off the wall

Need a miracle, but I keep testing grace

Say I won’t sin, then I’m back in the same place

I told fear “no rematch,” made him tap, heard the bell

Next night he called me out, now I’m flat on the mat again, hell

I’m not immune, I’m insecure

Mind racing fast, I don’t feel pure

Overwhelmed, overthinking every breath

Thinking “what if I quit caring?” pour a drink, bury the stress

Running in circles, I’m tired, I know

If you don’t like this side, there’s the door

I’m not whining, I’m blessed, still tired

I’m just saying the quiet parts out loud

Do I mean something? I feel like nothing

Still get up, still keep it running

I can sleep, yeah, I can breathe

I just don’t know if I wanna leave

Heart on my sleeve, I try to believe

Hopeful days, then back to weak

I don’t quit, but I don’t win

I’m learning to live — right here, right in

Adopted at birth, yeah, better off here

Not a shot at her, she was eighteen, scared

Divorce hit young, broke the frame

But it added more people calling my name

Funny how pain rearranges the room

Bad things fade, good things bloom

I tell myself “I’m doing fine”

Even when I’m forcing smiles just to pass the time

I forgot what it meant to put myself out

Got lost in the numbers, words lost their weight somehow

This is me — no hook, no disguise

Just thoughts piling up under tired eyes

Seasonal shadows knocking again

Suicidal thoughts but I don’t let them in

Relationship fear, cutting people off

I hold the knife, then set it down, then pick it back up, it’s rough

Do I mean something? I feel like nothing

Still get up, still keep it running

I can sleep, yeah, I can breathe

I just don’t know if I wanna leave

Heart on my sleeve, I try to believe

Hopeful days, then back to weak

I don’t quit, but I don’t win

I’m learning to live — right here, right in

I’m not healed.

I’m not broken enough to stop.

I do my routine so I don’t disappear.

That has to count for something… right?

Do I mean something? Maybe not today

But I showed up — that’s something, okay

I can sleep, I can breathe

Even if I don’t know if I wanna be

Heart on my sleeve, still here, still me

Hopeful, Home Again, Learning to Live — slowly

No finale, no perfect scene

Just me staying — quietly