I didn’t win the war

Verse 1
They clap for me like I won a war
Like I’m some miracle that made it out
But they don’t see the wreckage
I drag behind me when I walk

They say, “Look how far you’ve come”
Like distance erased the scars
Like surviving didn’t cost me
Every soft part of my heart

Pre-Chorus
I bit my tongue, I held the line
I learned to live in constant fight
So tell me why it never ends
Why pain keeps finding me again

Chorus
I didn’t survive all of that
Just to wake up hurting every day
I didn’t crawl out of hell
To still be begging for okay
I’m angry that I’m breathing
When the damage never stops
If this is what surviving is
Then what was all that fighting for?

Verse 2
Every morning it’s something new
Another ache, another fear
Another reminder my body
Still remembers every year

They say, “You’re so resilient”
Like that’s supposed to feel like peace
But resilience feels like punishment
When relief never reaches me

Pre-Chorus
I carried more than I was built to hold
I aged decades before I got old
I did everything they asked of me
So why won’t life just let me be?

Chorus
I didn’t survive all of that
Just to live on constant guard
I didn’t outrun the darkness
To still be trapped inside my heart
I’m angry at the universe
For never calling it quits
If this is the prize for staying alive
I don’t understand the gift

Bridge
Don’t tell me I’m brave
I didn’t have a choice
Don’t tell me it made me stronger
It just stole my voice

I wanted a life, not a battlefield
Not healing that never sticks
I’m so tired of proving
I can live like this

Break (quiet, almost spoken)
Some days I don’t want to die
I just don’t want to hurt anymore

Final Chorus
I survived abuse, I survived the nights
I survived when I shouldn’t have
But surviving doesn’t feel like winning
It just feels like doing math
Counting losses, counting scars
Counting reasons not to scream
I stayed alive through everything
But no one told me what it means

Outro
If I’m still here tomorrow
Let it mean more than pain
Because I didn’t survive the past
To be punished every day

Emotional  with Slow Progressions and Reflective Mood female vocals choir  echos  hurting guitar