I’ve Been Running

God calls you free but your habits call you an addict

You wear your chains like a locket, say you’re fine but you’re static

He calls you chosen, but you still feel left out

Sitting in a crowd and drowning in doubt

Sometimes I’m running toward the wrong thing

Sometimes it’s chasing me back

Can’t tell if I’m scared of the future

Or just haunted by my past

Maybe I’m running from holy

Blaming the pain for what’s killing me slowly

Trading my peace for a moment of pity

Losing my joy in a world that’s so pretty

And God’s whispering, “Stay,” but I’m already gone

He’s calling me chosen, and I keep moving on

Maybe I’m scared of the quiet, so I fill it with noise

Scroll till I’m numb, just to drown out His voice

You think you’re chasing your purpose, but it’s really your fear

Running from your reflection every time it gets clear

Sometimes I think I’m searching for wisdom

But I only find my own thoughts instead

He speaks through the chaos and silence

But I keep living in my head

Maybe I’m running from holy

Blaming the pain for what’s killing me slowly

Trading my peace for a moment of pity

Losing my joy in a world that’s so pretty

And God’s whispering, “Stay,” but I’m already gone

He’s calling me chosen, and I keep moving on

God speaks through instructions, impressions, interruptions

But I talk over Him like I know the directions

He can calm the storms, or create the storms

Guess it depends where I am when they form

Do I fall into His thoughts, or do I fall apart?

Do I let Him in my chaos, or just guard my heart?

I need a God thought, not a me thought

‘Cause mine only tear me apart

I’ve been running from holy

Blaming the pain for what’s killing me slowly

Trading my faith for familiar feelings

Breaking my heart just to say that I’m healing

And God’s still whispering, “Stay,” like He never moved on

He calls me forgiven, even when I’m gone

God calls me free… but I’m still breaking the habit

Maybe someday, I’ll believe that I have it