Foil Smoke Prayers

Blue flame, black spoon

Same room, same wound

Tiny line on the foil, then I chase that ghost

Hold breath, taste death, let the grey smoke float

Eyes glassed, heart slow

Mom call, can't go

Say I'm tired, I'm fine, that's a practiced lie

But the bags and the burns say I'm half-way dying

Every hit like hush

Every thought gets crushed

I don't feel that hurt

But I don't feel much

I ain't proud of this

I'm just stuck in it

Tryna numb that pit

Till it don't exist

I keep dancin' in the fumes, doin' this sad rain dance

Tryna wash the pain off, but it just grabs both hands

I don't wanna die on this cold tin foil

I don't wanna trade my soul for soil

So God if you hear me, I been gone too long

If you pull me through, I'll put this poison down

I'm addicted to the way it makes the feelings go gone

But I just want one more day, one more day to hold on (yeah)

Wake sick, bones ache

Cold sweat, hands shake

Phone light, one text

"Pull up?" I hate that

I scroll, I stall

I pace these walls

Every thought say "go"

Every prayer say "don't"

If I quit, I'm crawlin' on the bathroom floor

Beggin' just to breathe, beggin' just to not want more

If I stay, I might never see my face grow old

If I change, I might finally feel this weight unload

Homies droppin' like flies, they ain't wake last fall

Slow drip, one slip, then you don't wake at all

I been chasin' that quiet in a deadly storm

Need help, I can't do this war alone

I keep dancin' in the fumes, doin' this sad rain dance

Tryna wash the pain off, but it just grabs both hands

I don't wanna die on this cold tin foil

I don't wanna trade my soul for soil

So God if you hear me, I been gone too long

If you pull me through, I'll put this poison down

I'm addicted to the way it makes the feelings go gone

But I just want one more day, one more day to hold on (yeah)

If I call you late, would you pick that phone?

If I check myself in, will they send me home?

If I say I'm scared, will you think I'm weak?

Or will you sit right here while my body screams?

I keep dancin' in the fumes, doin' this sad rain dance

Tryna wash the pain off, but it just grabs both hands

I don't wanna die on this cold tin foil

I don't wanna trade my soul for soil

So God if you hear me, I been gone too long

If you pull me through, I'll put this poison down

I'm addicted to the way it makes the feelings go gone

But I just want one more day, one more day to hold on (hold on)