Foil Smoke Prayers

[Verse 1]
Blue flame, black spoon
Same room, same wound
Tiny line on the foil, then I chase that ghost
Hold breath, taste death, let the grey smoke float

Eyes glassed, heart slow
Mom call, can't go
Say I'm tired, I'm fine, that's a practiced lie
But the bags and the burns say I'm half-way dying

Every hit like hush
Every thought gets crushed
I don't feel that hurt
But I don't feel much

I ain't proud of this
I'm just stuck in it
Tryna numb that pit
Till it don't exist

[Chorus]
I keep dancin' in the fumes, doin' this sad rain dance
Tryna wash the pain off, but it just grabs both hands
I don't wanna die on this cold tin foil
I don't wanna trade my soul for soil

So God if you hear me, I been gone too long
If you pull me through, I'll put this poison down
I'm addicted to the way it makes the feelings go gone
But I just want one more day, one more day to hold on (yeah)

[Verse 2]
Wake sick, bones ache
Cold sweat, hands shake
Phone light, one text
"Pull up?" I hate that

I scroll, I stall
I pace these walls
Every thought say "go"
Every prayer say "don't"

If I quit, I'm crawlin' on the bathroom floor
Beggin' just to breathe, beggin' just to not want more
If I stay, I might never see my face grow old
If I change, I might finally feel this weight unload

Homies droppin' like flies, they ain't wake last fall
Slow drip, one slip, then you don't wake at all
I been chasin' that quiet in a deadly storm
Need help, I can't do this war alone

[Chorus]
I keep dancin' in the fumes, doin' this sad rain dance
Tryna wash the pain off, but it just grabs both hands
I don't wanna die on this cold tin foil
I don't wanna trade my soul for soil

So God if you hear me, I been gone too long
If you pull me through, I'll put this poison down
I'm addicted to the way it makes the feelings go gone
But I just want one more day, one more day to hold on (yeah)

[Bridge]
If I call you late, would you pick that phone?
If I check myself in, will they send me home?
If I say I'm scared, will you think I'm weak?
Or will you sit right here while my body screams?

[Chorus]
I keep dancin' in the fumes, doin' this sad rain dance
Tryna wash the pain off, but it just grabs both hands
I don't wanna die on this cold tin foil
I don't wanna trade my soul for soil

So God if you hear me, I been gone too long
If you pull me through, I'll put this poison down
I'm addicted to the way it makes the feelings go gone
But I just want one more day, one more day to hold on (hold on)

rap, female