I watched the light slip through my hands, let morning bleed to gray, Spoke shadows into your bright days, and watched your warmth decay. My silence was a canyon, my pride a barbed wire fence, I built a quiet kingdom of distance, hollow and intense.
My words were stones I piled between the beating of your heart, Each step I took away from you unraveled every part. I heard the sound of what I lost in the hush behind my door, A clock that kept on mourning time for things that were before.
There’s a hollow where my laughter lived, cold echoes in my chest, I count the ways I failed you, nights without your rest. Your empty cup still trembles with the ghost of what I stole, And every apology I offer falls short of making whole.
Without you I’m a shell of bone, a house with empty rooms, I broke the heart that built my home, I filled your skies with gloom. I hate the man who caused that pain, I loathe the hands I’ve shown, But under shame a fever burns — I want you, skin and bone.
I replay our small, bright moments like film on loop at dawn, The way you cupped the morning light, the way you kept me warm. Your laugh is a small thunder that used to split my day in two; I traded that for silence and the ache of missing you.
I shoved away soft kindness, traded love for needless pride, Now every mirror shows a ghost who used to stand by your side. I count the lines I’ve carved into the palms I once held true, And every fingerprint of us is a map that ends with you.
Regret is heavy on my tongue, it tastes like rust and rain, I’d trade a thousand silent nights to take away your pain. If sorrow had a voice, it would whisper every name I wrote in trembling ink the night I set our love aflame.
If forgiveness lives beyond the dunes, I’ll walk until I fall, If mercy hides behind the truth, I’ll shout it through the walls. Let me kneel and learn to listen, let me learn to hold, I’ll burn the bridge of stubbornness and let my tenderness unfold.
I see your laugh in strangers’ faces, I feel your scent in rain, I crave the weight of your forgiveness, want to soothe away your pain. My faults are loud and clumsy things — they bruise me every night, But love remains, a stubborn spark, refusing to lose light.
I haunt the rooms we once filled, I trace the places you would stand, I fold your absence into prayer and press it to my hand. Sleep comes slow and guilty; dawn arrives with hollow keys, I wake and measure out my days by what your absence frees.
I’ll learn to be your safe place, to carry when you’re weak, I’ll speak with hands that hold the truth, not hide behind a streak. Take all my faults and temper them with patient, steady hands, If you’ll stay and teach me love, I’ll vow to understand.
Let me be the quiet that answers when your storms arrive, Let my steady fingers map the places where we’ll thrive. If trust must be rebuilt brick by careful grieving brick, I’ll lay each one with reverence until the nights are thick with light. for you, for us, for we.
Heathen_AJ
