[Intro]
Gather ’round, I got a tale to tell,
About a kid named Diapers—yeah, it won’t end well.
Strap in, stay still, and don’t catch the vapors,
This one’s gonna stink… just like Diapers.
[Male Vocal]
Yo, once upon a time in a quiet little town,
Lived a kid who wore shame like a hand-me-down.
Diapers was his name, not a joke, not a cap,
He’d cry at recess when he tripped in the map.
He walked like he waddled, always off in a blur,
People thought he had swag, but it was just… a diaper rash, sir.
His backpack sagged, his shoelace dragged,
He showed up late like it was part of a gag.
Pants too high, hair in a swoop,
He tried to act tough but tripped over soup.
Lunch tray flew, milk in his face,
Slipped so hard he hit outer space.
Even teachers said, “Man, this one’s a mess,”
The janitor quit from the smell and the stress.
And I ain’t even started, I’m just on page one,
This story about Diapers has barely begun.
See, they called him Diapers for a reason so foul,
He pooped during spelling bees—whole room said, “Ow!”
He’d say “It’s my condition!” but no one bought it,
He wore pull-ups at sixteen and proudly flaunted.
At recess, he’d run but never too fast,
‘Cause speed plus fear equals leaks in the grass.
He tried to play tag, got tagged in the pants,
He sat out the game and just stared into plants.
His squad? Nah, bro had none to list,
Even imaginary friends put him on the blacklist.
His name on a roll call brought out the laughter,
“Diapers?” the sub asked, “Like… the thing babies after?”
And he’d nod like it’s fine, like he’s owning the name,
But deep down he knew it was part of the shame.
Tried to switch it to “D.,” thought that’d pass,
But you can’t run from the stink when it follows your—pass.
He got clowned in the halls, he got memed in the lunch,
He got booed out of choir for farting mid-crunch.
He brought Lunchables, spilled the Capri Sun,
Claimed he had bars, but couldn’t even rhyme “fun.”
In gym class, he froze when the dodgeballs flew,
Tried to throw one back, hit his own crew.
They called timeout just to laugh a bit longer,
“Yo, Diapers’ drip? Just pee and dishonor.”
He failed every test except how to be lame,
Even Google gave up when it heard his name.
Tried a science fair project about “absorbent design,”
But the judges just stared like, “Bro, are you fine?”
He once did a rap for the talent show crowd,
The mic cut itself off—wasn’t allowed.
Dropped rhymes so weak, they slipped through the beat,
The janitor came out just to mop up defeat.
Diapers! Diapers! Look who’s late again!
Tryna hide the shame, but you’re leaking pain!
Diapers! Diapers! Stuck in your youth,
Try to drop bars but you drool the truth.
(Yeah) Diapers! Diapers! You’re a nursery tale,
You ain’t spittin’ fire—you just cry and wail.
Diapers! Diapers! This ain’t your turf,
Take your toys and run back to Planet Smurf.
His shoes lit up but couldn’t outshine the tears,
Still plays with Legos, got beef with his peers.
He talks a big game, like “Yo, I got clout
