I Didn't Know How to Hold on to You

I Didn’t Know How to Hold You

You were lightning in a quiet room

Half wildfire, half grace

You could make the heaviest nights

Feel lighter just standing in the same place

And I loved you like a desperate man

Trying to stop time moving on

I thought love meant never loosening

Never risking being alone

Maybe I held on too tightly

Maybe I let fear take hold

Maybe love needs open hands

More than arms that won’t let go

I didn’t know how to hold you

I didn’t know how to love you right

I pulled too hard when you needed freedom

Turned every doubt into a fight

I loved you with frightened hands

With all my damage showing through

And somewhere between too much and not enough

I lost you trying to hold on to you

You wanted someone steady-handed

Someone solid when the dark rolled in

Not a man constantly searching

For proof you’d choose him again

You were trying to give me solid ground

Something honest I could stand on

But it left me like a drowning man

Grabbing hard instead of holding on

Sometimes you needed strong arms around you

Sometimes you needed space to breathe

Sometimes you needed me to fight for us

Sometimes just sit and listen deep

But love ain’t guessing in the dark

Or dragging fear from room to room

It’s learning someone’s heart out loud

Before the silence decides for you

I didn’t know how to hold you

I didn’t know how to love you right

I built walls around forever

And watched them fall in a single night

I loved you with shaking hands

Like I was bracing for bad news

And somewhere between too much and not enough

I lost the best thing I could lose

You wanted fire that kept changing

Not just comfort dressed as touch

To feel the moment turning restless

When the feeling started building up

You wanted hands that carried confidence

Rhythm strong enough to pull you in

The kind of love that takes your breath some

But still feels safe beneath your skin

To lose a little control beside me

And trust wherever I might go

Because you knew my heart was holding you

Even in the rush you couldn’t slow

You wanted passion that stayed fearless

Alive enough to leave a mark

Not pain that came from being broken

Just the sharp electric spark

And I see it clearer now

What you were trying to give to us

That love is more than being wanted

Sometimes it’s daring someone to trust

Now every memory cuts cleaner

Every silence feels brand new

And the hardest part of losing you

Is knowing how hard you tried to stay true

If love is more than just devotion

More than needing someone close

Then maybe I learned it too late

The moment you finally let go

I didn’t know how to hold you

I didn’t know how to love you then

I thought love was holding tighter

Not knowing when to loosen my hands

And if I ever love again

I’ll carry the truth I learned from you

That hearts don’t break from lack of feeling

Sometimes they break from too much of it too