Abyss

Abyss, once more you gaze into my eyes. Again, I hear your silent scream.

Abyss, I am starving — for you, for home.

It seems I have a choice, yet I no longer know whether to ask for help or simply surrender.

That black night tightens its grip again, stealing my breath.

Meaninglessness conquers the everyday.

And here I am once more — on the horizon, standing at the gates of eternal life.

I am afraid to walk forward — for you have already gone.

And yet, I long for what you have — freedom, joy untouched by pain and scars.

Breathe in perfection, breathe in lightness.

But how does one decide, as a human —

to stay, or to accept that all has been done here?

Each day I gaze upon the fragments of my life,

and I can no longer tell — is this the end?

If it is, then I do not wish to remain.

I do not want to exist without joy, without the fierce rhythm of a living heart.

I do not want to settle for love stripped of safety.

Why must it be so hard?

Why, when you desire only goodness and gentleness,

must you stand face to face with beasts and matter?

I do not know what to do —

but still, the hope of tomorrow breathes within me.