Borrowed Ocean

The room is breathing without me

Walls lean in, then pretend they don’t

I laugh a second too late

Like I’m syncing to the wrong clock

There’s a taste of iron in the quiet

But I tell myself it’s nothing new

Just another night misplacing sleep

Just another truth I slip straight through

Something flickers when the lights go low

A shape I almost recognize

I hold my breath to hear it clearer

But silence wears a better disguise

I’m floating where the floor should be

Counting cracks in the light below

Every second stretches thin

Like it’s afraid to let me go

The surface glows like a false promise

Close enough to almost touch

I wave like I’m not asking for help

Like I don’t need it that much

If I stay still, I won’t be pulled under

If I don’t move, I won’t fall through

My name sounds strange inside my mouth

Like it belongs to someone else

I trace old cracks along the mirror

Every line I never felt

There’s thunder hiding in my pulse

Soft enough to pass for calm

I keep my smile folded neatly

Like a letter I won’t open yet

The air gets thick, my chest feels borrowed

Time bends wrong around my spine

I swear I’ve been here once before

But I don’t know when, I don’t know why

I’m sinking in a borrowed ocean

No waves, just endless weight

Every thought leaves a bruise behind it

Every breath arrives too late

I reach for edges that dissolve

They cut my hands, then slip away

My shadow swims ahead of me

Like it’s trying to escape

I swear I almost feel the bottom

But it keeps giving way

There’s a sound like breaking glass

But it’s coming from inside my ribs

I flinch before the echo hits

Like my body already knows the script

Memory without a picture

Fear without a name

I’m bracing for a lightning strike

In perfectly clear rain

Now the dark is speaking fluently

Every pause is loaded, sharp

I don’t remember choosing this

But it knows exactly where to start

I’m not drowning—I’m disappearing

Layer by layer, thread by thread

The water’s learned my shape by now

It wears my voice inside my head

Every scream turns into pressure

Every fight just pulls me down

I don’t know what broke the surface

But I know I’m not there now

If I let go, I finally sink

If I hold on, I still fade out