Downward spiral

Today I came to a conclusion

That true happiness is nothing more than an

illusion .I've tried this an that putm together,fusion.

So I don't have any fucks

Left,Ive used them. Watching all these people laugh an smile.i bet behind locked doors their therapist is on speed dial. B4 they to fall into the downward spiral. But at least if so,I wouldn't have to be stuck here alone.

King of nothing all up in my throne. No one answers like a dead zone. They say just take a rest,are u ok? U look Lil stressed. Ha ya sure I'm just fine,I've done lost it all,next is my mind.day in day out I'm running out of time.nothing in my pockets not even a dime,so ya sure I'm just fine. It's like I'm being punished for my life leaving me,off an running. In the mist of all this,in an illusion I thought I was getting a second chance at love an romance. Found the girl of my dreams ,everything going great tho it seems.until satan says ok that's it, an it all ended in an automobile accident. Sorry,,,,bout that I can't talk,it's been 3yrs an still in shock. So moving on,from dusk til dawn.its hard to explain, I no alot of u feel the same.but fuck I don't know what to do all I feel is shame. Ur probably thinking that's pathetic/lame. An ya I'm sure ur right.thats y I numb myself everynight.only few no the feeling of alone an forced in ur head,self torture, walls painted red.pray to God let me wake up dead.but no I'm made to stay an watch myself instead.

I mean I've hit bottom,not in denial. Don't have shit,no money in a pile. U don't have to look at me with ur fake smile. But God dam give me some advice. What am I supposed to do at this point in life???