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Lyrics
[Intro]
Used to pray for a way out
Now I pray that they stay out
All these ghosts in my PayPal
All these sins in my bank now (yeah)
[Verse 1]
White dust on a black scale
Ten missed calls from my mom, I let it ring still
Told her that I’m clean now
But the rent due, so I’m back on the same route
Corner store, same hoodie, same handoff
Same cop car creeping with the lights off
Cash in the shoebox, hope in the ashtray
I ain’t proud of what I did, but it had me
Baby mama with a belly on the futon
I was counting every gram like a coupon
Thought I’d die in that one-bedroom
Staring at the paint peel, dreaming of a boardroom (yeah)
[Chorus]
I did what I did just to feed my blood
Hands in the dirt, heart in the mud
I ain’t proud of my past, but I won’t forget
No regret, I just carry that weight on my neck
Made me harder, made me smarter, made me stand tall
If I fall, I get up like I never fell at all
Hope my kids never have to touch this pain
Hope they never learn my name from the cocaine (nah)
[Verse 2]
First time clean, I was shaking like the block was
Sleeping on a mattress full of lost hits
Phone full of numbers I can’t call back
Every contact just another relapse
Went to meetings, sat quiet in the back row
Old heads talking ‘bout how far the trap go
I saw my reflection in their cracked teeth
Different faces, same demon that we can’t beat
Second time, I swore I’d be a better man
Still that fast cash slipped through my sweaty hands
I was back in the kitchen, back with the vision
Back with that voice saying, “Boy, you don’t listen” (you don’t listen)
[Chorus]
I did what I did just to feed my blood
Hands in the dirt, heart in the mud
I ain’t proud of my past, but I won’t forget
No regret, I just carry that weight on my neck
Made me harder, made me smarter, made me stand tall
If I fall, I get up like I never fell at all
Hope my kids never have to touch this pain
Hope they never learn my name from the cocaine
[Bridge]
Little shoes by the door, I just stare at ‘em
Wonder what they’ll think when they hear what their dad been
Will they see a monster or a man that was breaking
Or a broken man who refused to stay broken (yeah)
If I gotta be the one that the fire burns
Let ‘em walk this world with cleaner shirts
Let ‘em spend they life on a different grind
All this dirty money just to buy ‘em time (buy ‘em time)
[Chorus]
I did what I did just to feed my blood
Hands in the dirt, heart in the mud
I ain’t proud of my past, but I won’t forget
No regret, I just carry that weight on my neck
Made me harder, made me smarter, made me stand tall
If I fall, I get up like I never fell at all
Hope my kids never have to touch this pain
Hope they write a new song with the family name
Details
GeneratedJan 19, 2026
Duration3:11
LanguageEnglish
Style
rap, Dark trap beat, spaced 808s, and eerie bell loop; intimate male vocals sitting upfront with doubled ad-libs, verses tight and confessional. Hook opens wider with layered harmonies on key phrases and a slightly brighter pad, drums punching harder. Occasional filtered drops under key lines for impact, then full beat slams back in for the chorus to feel like a mantra., beats
Credits
Prompt bySignalHybrid568
ModelAria v5
Prompt
Selling cocaine support family, recovering addict, multiple relapse, disappointing family, cash money, not proud of past but no regret, makes you stronger, hope kids have better life, rap, trap, beats
