Almost

Haven’t left this room all weekend

Curtains drawn at half past noon

Empty mugs along the windowsill

Shadows crowded in this small blue room

But I’m still here

Breathing slow

Counting cracks in the ceiling

Like a lifeline rope

It hurts so much

To stay

To cope

But a tiny voice keeps saying

We might be almost

Almost okay

Thoughts get loud around the midnight

Every doubt with sharpened teeth

Phone lights up with “are you sleeping?”

I type “yeah” and watch it blink and breathe

But I’m still here

Breathing slow

Tracing scars in my story

Like a secret code

It hurts so much

To stay

To hope

But a tiny voice keeps saying

We might be almost

Almost okay

Some days it’s a second at a time (just one)

Sip of water

Getting out of bed (that’s enough)

If this is all I manage

I’m still alive

If this is all I manage

I’m still alive (I’m still here)

Yeah

I’m still here

Breathing slow

Every heartbeat a promise

I don’t fully know

It hurts so much

But I won’t let go

’Cause that tiny voice keeps saying

We might be almost

Almost okay

(Almost okay)