Nobody knows how i suffer

I just want to disappear leave this life and get away from here the more try the more I fear oh my God what's left for me here am I even existing in there eyes would they even care if I didn't say any goodbye just do it and the pain will be over soon

nobody understands how I feel I'm afraid if I talk and share what is real they'll turn away and leave me all alone and even if they know that I cry every night till my eyes are dry what would they say if they knew about the twisted circuits in my brain