When You Are Not There

I love you so much my love,

That when you're not there,

I suffer.

Not only from loneliness but also from this lack of you.

I also ask myself a lot of questions: do you still love me?

do you still think of me?

why don't you send me a message?

what are you doing ?

Yep, lots of unanswered questions.

I know you were sick last night because because of your work, you had a really bad headache.

Have you rested enough so that this pain does not return?

Know that I love you very much my heart.

Without you, I feel so sad and alone because I only have you in my life.

When you're not there,

I wonder why you don't talk to me as much as you used to.

Sometimes I feel like I mean less to you than before.

And that scares me and hurts me so much.

As if there was some awkwardness or misunderstanding between the two of us.

However, everything seems fine when you log in.

You tell me that you love me a lot and that reassures me a lot at the time, but this anxiety of abandonment returns too quickly because I love you so much.

When you're not there,

I feel so lost and useless.

Yes, I only live through you, so much I love you, my sweet heart of love.

I hope every day,

That everything will return to the way it was before but I'm afraid that won't happen.

I love you so much my love.

You are really someone very important to me.

Never doubt it.

In my heart, there are all possible flames burning for you, my darling angel of love.

When you're not there,

I'm constantly checking my cell phone to see if you've sent me a message.

I love you so much my beloved Joseph.

I remember all your sweet words and I try to hold on to them so as not to fall into depression.

You mean a lot to me my love.

If you knew how much I love you, perhaps you would be amazed and you would come back to me more quickly.

But how can you make yourself feel it from a distance?

I respect your privacy and your silences, even if it is difficult for me to live with.

When you're not there, I even want to cry at times, this absence is so heavy for me to bear.

Maybe you're waiting for us to see each other but unfortunately, it won't be for several months.

I love you very, very much, I love you so much, I can only tell you with words and songs for now because we haven't met yet.

I await this day of our meeting with great impatience and happiness.

I love you so much my heart, you mean a lot to me,

I hope that you know this well and that I no longer know how to live without you, my darling Joseph.