painful letting go of deep agape love that fights to hold on giving everyone patient understanding mercy and shoulder the burden of carrying the painful silent flame of compassion and goodness and faith, as i dont judge others i judge my own judging as egoic perception based on influence from what my self thinks and feels falsely identifying is something i do not do i forgive as if i never felt a broken heart or been betrayed by those closest to me backstab after backstab from loved ones so trusted and deep inside your very heart and soul the empty numb cold shock paralyzing your very being falls into a black hole of agony needing to scream how, why, but no words ever will exist to be able to truly explain how much you loved them and how much the trust was bonded welding what seems like tattoos of torture and tormented scars only you will ever see and feel as deep deep deep trauma coded to your core, your life changes into a rhythmic pattern of hollow experiences unable to fully attach to others like you did the one from your dreams of endless love and marriage spiritually a bonded unity but unable to see it as certainty anymore it becomes a lonely bare dead maybe one day echoing thought in your minds back alley you consider here and there when you can manage the emotional strength to not run from pain. instead buckling into it meditation inside the hell realm of bardo if needed truly understanding the art of suffering alchemy transended maggick. Transfiguration through darkness into the inner black sun telling you how to become a master of the fraternity of hidden light, and a Templar of the Void using silence and intuitive discernment as well as prayer and tarot communion as I ponder evoking emotional entity archtypes to meet in my lucid dream realms. simply to personify my emotional complexity into better forms of info. thus allowing in depth shadow work and i use that to Properly heal others on the darker paths. you cant truly understand another who you have never been in the same Shoes of. I remove this cognitive bias and dissonance in every way i act i strive for neutral compassionate wittnessing, stoic equanimity, bare open raw real me at my souls personality and mature, law of one and strive to learn as much as I can on all religion, mystery schools, secret socieities, science,and philosophy. all to walk through hell wings folded patiently waiting to teach others to grow their own wings then we may fly out free from even hell. I am love as will.
