If this is good bye

If this is goodbye, just know I tried.

Every breath, every tear, every sleepless night.

I fought like hell. I swear I did.

But I’m just so tired of keeping it hid.

Tell my baby I loved her the most,

even when I was a ghost.

And if I finally close my eyes,

just remember, I tried.

People say “you’re strong,” but they don’t see

the war I fight inside of me.

The mirrors scream. The silence breaks.

The pills. The smoke. The heart that aches.

I miss the girl I used to be,

before the stroke, before the grief.

Before the pain rewired my brain,

and the sun never felt the same.

If this is goodbye, please don’t cry.

I was a storm that passed the sky.

I burned bright, then I was done.

Not every war can be won.

So if I go, just hold me tight,

and tell my soul it did alright.

This is not a suicide.

It’s just goodbye. I tried.