silent screams

Silent screams, echo loud in my mind

Living on the edge, I’ve crossed the line

When will thin be thin enough?

When will sick be sick enough?

When will the cuts be deep enough

To convince you I’m not okay?

When will dark be dark enough?

When will hard be hard enough?

Will you only take me serious

When this puts me in the grave?

I’m losing grip, slipping into the shadows

Calling out through the cracks, but my voice gets lost

They see the surface, never what’s beneath

Counting down the days, until I’m gone

You say you hear me but you don’t ever listen

I say I’m fine cause it won’t make a difference

I’m screaming out but I’m locked in a prison

My mind won’t let me out, I can’t break free

I’m tired of pretending, tired of the lies

Tired of hiding all the tears in my eyes

One day you’ll hear me, or you’ll realize

The cost of ignoring all the warning signs

So I learned to smile on cue

And ignore what I went through

Oh but damn I still knew

There were demons in my mind

Pulled my sleeves over the scars

Swore that I’d protect my heart

Didn’t mean to run this far

I was just trying to survive

I leave warnings in my words

In the humor that still hurts

I’m preparing for the worst

While you pass right by the signs

One last time I beg you, hear

My desperation and my fear

If one day I disappear

Don’t you dare say you’re surprised

You heard what you wanted, not a word that I said

So I smiled and lied — swallowed the ache instead

Screaming for help only wasted my breath

I can’t be who you needed me to be

You say you loved me, but you loved yourself more

You diminished my pain like you were keeping score

I don’t even know what the hell it all was for

I only ever wanted to be seen

I’m screaming in the dark, but no one’s coming

My hands are shaking, my chest is drumming

I gave all I had, but it wasn’t enough, I guess

Every word, every cry, met with stone-cold silence

I’m breaking, I’m fading, and still no one sees

Trapped in my head, drowning in memories

I begged and I pleaded, I showed every scar

Yet you still never saw all the pain you caused

Fading into shadows, I’m all alone

The echoes of my cries still fill this home

I tried to be seen, I tried to survive

But silence remains, no one heard my cries