[Negative space between phrases]
[Vocals forward]
[INTRO — funky lo-fi groove, slightly wobbly]
I shouldn't feel this way This shouldn't be happening
[VERSE 1 — conversational, building, each feeling lands like a punch with space between]
That thought arrives first Then another quickly follows And inside the circle The feelings start stacking
Annoyed — yeah Tired — sure Frustrated — fine Disgusted — wait
And almost immediately The verdict arrives: I should be different
[PRE-CHORUS — the spiral tightening, darkly funny, each word a little more absurd]
The judgment doesn't stay small Oh no It spirals
Rejection, hatred, shame Each loop tightening Until the center thought appears
[CHORUS — DROP, funky and explosive, absurd and completely real]
I'm a bullshit person Not — I'm having a hard moment Not — this feeling hurts But a whole identity Built from a passing state
Fix it Force it Push it away Like untangling a knot By pulling harder
I'm a bullshit person And I know that's not true But right now It really feels like it
[VERSE 2 — building to the Earth plane line where the band drops out completely for one beat]
Negativity goes physical Like carrying a dead weight Vision narrows Movement goes automatic
Moving through the world To distorted perceptions That feel completely real
[MUSIC DROPS] Maybe I just can't hack it On the Earth plane [BEAT RESUMES]
[PRE-CHORUS — delivered with affectionate absurdity, building to exhausted tenderness]
Entrapped in ignorance A victim of circumstance Powerless, hopeless, helpless
And at the center of the whole structure Sits a small sun Labeled — Ego
My suffering My failures My misery My very important needs
Everything pointing Back to the same Exhausting Center
Oh, to be human
[CHORUS — DROP, funkier now, almost laughing at itself]
I'm a bullshit person Not — I'm having a hard moment Not — this feeling hurts But a whole identity Built from a passing state
Fix it Force it Push it away Like untangling a knot By pulling harder
I'm a bullshit person And I know that's not true But right now It really feels like it
[BRIDGE — the funk drops away completely, just a single pulse]
Can this pressure break the shell already If the discomfort gets intense enough Maybe it will crack something open
Maybe it's not punishment Maybe it's pressure
[FULL SILENCE — one breath]
I know the light is there But something thick is in the way
[PAUSE — let it land]
A dense fog Not the absence of light Just something keeping me From perceiving it
[THE PRAYER — single gentle beat, almost spoken, completely sincere]
Lord please
If I am your yo-yo Please flick your wrist And bring me back
[FINAL CHORUS — DROP returns wider and warmer than before, tender and triumphant]
Underneath the spiral Underneath all of it There is a much simpler longing
To rest To rest in the palm Of something larger
For a moment Or maybe For eternity
[OUTRO — the funky groove returns softly]
I shouldn't feel this way
[PAUSE]
And yet Here I am
And that's enough
AlchemistEthereal252