[Verse 1]
Up late
Bills stacked on the counter
Text from my pops
He say I turned out just like him
That hurt
‘Cause he never stuck around
Now I’m brushing baby teeth
Swearing I won’t bounce
Three little crowns
Running through this small apartment
Cartoons loud
But my chest feel quiet
Wifey in the kitchen
Eyes red, tryna hide it
I kiss her on the forehead
Say, “We gon’ survive this”
I feel the pressure in my ribs
Every time I gotta leave
Clock in, clock out
Still fighting what they did to me
Mama used to call my pain
Just “being sensitive”
Now it’s doctors in my phone
Saying “this is what it is”
[Chorus]
I’m just tryna hold my home together
Man in the storm, no umbrella
Praying that my babies grow better
Than we did, than we did
Yeah we lost some angels on the way there
Talk to ‘em when I’m stuck in heavy traffic
Through the hurt, through the panic
We still live, we still live
(I’ve been low, I’ve been low)
But I rise ‘cause they need me
(I’ve been broke, I’ve been broke)
Still I give ‘til I’m empty
Missing all the faces that I can’t see
Working through the pain, that’s my therapy
I’m just tryna hold my home together
We still live, we still live
[Verse 2]
Walk ‘em to school
Hand in hand down the block
Bodega cat watching
Cars drown in the honks
Corner boys holler
“Yo, you good?” with a nod
They know once I had a temper
Now I’m learning how to stop
My oldest ask
“Daddy, why you breathe so heavy?”
I told her, “It’s my armor
It just feel too heavy”
She drew a heart on a Post-it
Stuck it to my sweater
Said, “Take this to your job
So the bad thoughts get better”
Talk to my wife in the dark
When the girls finally sleep
She say, “Your mama didn’t raise you
For the man you ‘posed to be”
We both stare at the ceiling
Like it might crack open
Say a name we both miss
Then the whole room frozen
I’m hearing laughter that ain’t there
From the ones that we buried
Got my uncle in my ear
“When it’s hard, you gotta carry”
So I hustle like I’m haunted
Smile when it hurts to
Turn the pain into rent
Turn the past into fuel
[Chorus]
I’m just tryna hold my home together
Man in the storm, no umbrella
Praying that my babies grow better
Than we did, than we did
Yeah we lost some angels on the way there
Talk to ‘em when I’m stuck in heavy traffic
Through the hurt, through the panic
We still live, we still live
(I’ve been low, I’ve been low)
But I rise ‘cause they need me
(I’ve been broke, I’ve been broke)
Still I give ‘til I’m empty
Missing all the faces that I can’t see
Working through the pain, that’s my therapy
I’m just tryna hold my home together
We still live, we still live
[Bridge]
Hands up
My girls on my shoulders
They dance like the world
Already told ‘em they’re chosen
Drill in my step
But the drum in my chest
Beat island rhythms
While I pray for the blessed
For the aunties we ain’t calling
For the cousins in the sky
For the fathers that went missing
I refuse to say goodbye
I just pour a little love
In my daughters every night
If I break, I break in private
In the daytime, I fight
[Chorus]
I’m just tryna hold my home together
Man in the storm, no umbrella
Praying that my babies grow better
Than we did, than we did
Yeah we lost some angels on the way there
Talk to ‘em when I’m stuck in heavy traffic
Through the hurt, through the panic
We still live, we still live
(I’ve been low, I’ve been low