[Verse 1]
I kept the hallway light off for years
Let the old house keep its shape
Every floorboard knew the weight of me
Every locked door knew my name
I wore that night beneath my shirt
Like a medal made of rust
Told myself that staying numb
Was the same thing as being tough
[Pre-Chorus]
But the mirror caught me breathing
And I couldn't look away
There was a boy behind my eyes
Still waiting for the day
[Chorus]
I won't let the past hold the wheel
I won't call this pain what makes me real
I can carry what happened
Without becoming what it did
With these shaking hands, I’m learning how to live
[Verse 2]
I drove out past the county line
Where the wheat bends toward the rain
Pulled over by the water tower
And said the words I couldn't say
I was angry at the silence
I was angry at my skin
But the truth came soft and steady:
I was hurt, not born to hurt again
[Pre-Chorus]
So I opened up the window
Let the cold come through the cab
Some things lose their power
When you finally call them that
[Chorus]
I won't let the past hold the wheel
I won't call this pain what makes me real
I can carry what happened
Without becoming what it did
With these shaking hands, I’m learning how to live
[Bridge]
If I break, let somebody see me
If I fall, let the ground be kind
I am more than every warning
That was carved into my mind
There’s no glory in the damage
No shame in needing help
I’m turning toward the fire
Instead of running from myself
[Final Chorus]
I won't let the past hold the wheel
I won't call this pain what makes me real
I can carry what happened
And still choose what I become
Every scar can face the morning
Every long night has an end
With these shaking hands, I’m learning how to live
With this battered heart, I’m learning to begin
[Outro]
The hallway light is burning
And I’m standing in the room
Not healed, but still here breathing
Making something different bloom