[Verse 1]
Empty bottles in the backseat
Excuses in the ashtray
Mama staring through my chest like
"Boy, you running outta pathways"
Dad's face hard as granite
Hands folded like he's praying
But he don't say much these days
Just hears what I keep saying
Little brother on his phone screen
Acting like he doesn't care
But he flinched when I walked in
Smelled the past in the air
Sister said, "You missed my birthday
Three years in a row"
I said, "Next time," she said, "You said that
Three years ago"
[Chorus]
I'm trying to be the man
That you believed I was
Shaking in my hands
Sweating out the stuff I love
I know I broke your trust
A thousand times, I ran
Look you in the eyes and stand
I'm trying to be the man
(I'm trying, I'm trying)
(I'm trying to be the man)
[Verse 2]
My wife folded on the sofa
Eyes raw, voice soft
Said, "I packed a little bag
Just in case I take off"
I grabbed it from the doorway
Dropped down to my knees
Said, "If you walk out that apartment
You taking all of me"
Rehab pamphlet on the table
Coffee stains and crumpled edge
I been reading every sentence
Like a prayer, like a pledge
I been walking past the corner store
Counting every breath
Phone full of little checkmarks
Every sober step
Called my sponsor at midnight
When the cravings hit hard
He said, "One more honest day
That's how you earn back hearts"
[Chorus]
I'm trying to be the man
That you believed I was
Shaking in my hands
Sweating out the stuff I love
I know I broke your trust
A thousand times, I ran
Look you in the eyes and stand
I'm trying to be the man
(yeah, I’m trying, I’m trying)
(hold on to me if you can)
[Bridge]
Mama, if I slip, don't hide it
Dad, if I fall, don't lie
Tell me straight, don't save my pride
I had too much of that to get this high
Brother, if you see me shaking
Sister, if I miss a call
Know I'm fighting something bigger
Than a drink at the mall
Wife, if I come home early
Eyes clear, keys in your hand
Just hold me like I'm learning
How to walk again
[Chorus]
I'm trying to be the man
That you believed I was
Shaking in my hands
Sweating out the stuff I love
I know I broke your trust
But watch me where I stand
Every day, step by step
I'm trying to be the man
(I'm trying, I'm trying)
(I swear this time I am)