"Blitzed in Philly (And I Sh*t My Pants)"

(Verse 1)

It was Sunday at the Linc, the beers were flowin’ fast,

Had my jersey on, feelin’ like a badass,

Crowd was roarin', wings were fryin',

Life was good — Lord, I ain’t lyin’...

(Pre-Chorus)

Then the nachos hit me wrong, and I felt that deadly dance,

In the middle of the anthem... I damn near sh*t my pants.

(Chorus)

Oh Philly, you broke me down,

In my green and white, I lost my crown,

From the upper decks to the marching bands,

I stood there frozen, sh*t my pants!

Go Birds! (but Lord, not my pants...)

(Verse 2)

I tried to make a run, but the crowd was packed in tight,

Every step I took, I knew I’d lose that fight,

Wavin' towels, screamin’ loud,

I just prayed I'd blend in with the crowd...

(Pre-Chorus)

But fate had plans and so did my underpants,

By the second quarter kickoff... I full-on sh*t my pants.

(Chorus)

Oh Philly, you broke me down,

In my green and white, I lost my crown,

From the upper decks to the marching bands,

I stood there frozen, sh*t my pants!

Fly Eagles Fly... (but not that high...)

(Bridge)

Now I’m sittin’ in the lot, my dignity’s all gone,

Wavin’ bye to my friends from the porta-john...

(Final Chorus)

Oh Philly, you broke me down,

In my green and white, I lost my crown,

From the Liberty Bell to these brown-stained pants,

I found true heartbreak... and second chance.

(Outro)

Yeah next time I’ll skip the chili fries...

Or bring a second pair... just in case I fly...