Porch Lights In My Head

[Verse 1]
Plastic plate dinners
TV on mute
Dad’s voice thunder
Mama’s eyes bruise
Cartoons playing
I ain’t laugh once
Smelling burnt toast and distrust
In that one-bedroom front
Hand-me-down mattress
Springs in my back
Listening for footsteps
Heart jumpin out my chest
Every slammed door
Felt like it’s my fault
Learned how to flinch
Before I could walk
[Chorus]
I got porch lights in my head
They stay on all night
Shadows of the past
Still creeping in my sight (yeah)
I been tryna run
But the hurt still find my bed
I don’t want these memories
I don’t want these memories
I don’t want these memories
But they live here in my head (oh-oh)
[Verse 2]
School bus rolling
Mud on my shoes
Lying to my friends
Say “I overslept, what’s new”
Couldn’t tell ’em ’bout the shouting
Or the plates on the floor
So I swallowed every secret
Till it soaked into my core
Now I’m grown, still jump
When someone raises they tone
Got a house, got some trophies
But it ain’t feel like home
Therapist asking
“Tell me, where does it hurt?”
It’s in that Sunday church parking lot
Stains on my shirt
[Chorus]
I got porch lights in my head
They stay on all night
Shadows of the past
Still creeping in my sight (still creeping)
I been tryna run
But the hurt still find my bed
I don’t want these memories
I don’t want these memories
I don’t want these memories
But they live here in my head
[Bridge]
Every scar got a story
I ain’t wanna read
But I’m turning every page now
Letting old ghosts leave (yeah)
If I cry, let me cry
If I break, let me mend
I was a kid in the crossfire
I ain’t guilty of that sin
[Chorus]
I got porch lights in my head
They stay on all night
Shadows of the past
Still creeping in my sight
I been tryna run
But the hurt still find my bed (find my bed)
I don’t want these memories
I don’t want these memories
I don’t want these memories
But I’ll learn to live instead (live instead)

rap, Moody southern trap ballad with male vocals; half-sung, half-rapped delivery. Sparse, detuned bell melody over deep sub and rim-clicks in the verses, hook blooms with layered vocal harmonies and airy synth pads. Ad-libs tucked wide in the stereo field, 808 slides and occasional pitched vocal chops for tension, slow-bouncing drums that let the storytelling sit right on top., hip hop, pop