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In that moment, the pause is simpler than all of that, and harder, it is just notice notice where the feeling lives in your body. Is it in your chest, your stomach? The back of your neck. Is it tight or hot or hollow? Don't try to change it, don't jug? It just find it the way you would notice the sound in another room. Then if you can name it not a story. No, I'm upset because he always does this. Just the raw feeling underneath the story, anger hurt, fear shame.One word is