In this house

I been quiet but my mind been loud,

Fake smiles when I walk through the crowd,

Same walls, same vibe, same tension in the air,

People act nice then talk when I’m not there.

I can feel it in the way they all move,

Little slick shit, yeah I’m clockin’ the truth,

Got me stuck in my room just to feel some peace,

Tryna hold myself together, but I’m breaking piece by piece.

Everybody got opinions on my life and my pain,

But they don’t really get what goes on in my brain,

So I sit in the dark with my thoughts and my pride,

Tryna not let this house eat me alive.

I been hurting, I been tired, I been low,

Smile on my face but they don’t even know,

Every day feel heavy, every night too cold,

In this house I feel lost, but I won’t fold.

I been angry, I been numb, I been done,

Still I get back up, I still don’t run,

They can judge, they can stare, they can lie if they want,

But I’m still right here, yeah bitch I’m still strong.

Got me feeling like I gotta watch my back,

Every little thing turn into an attack,

If I speak then I’m “too much,” if I’m quiet I’m “off,”

So I bottle all the pain and I laugh it off.

But the truth is, lately I ain’t been me,

Too drained, too hurt, too tired to breathe,

Tryna find my light in a place this dark,

While they keep throwing shade, tryna dim my spark.

And I know I got fire even when I feel small,

Even on the days I don’t feel shit at all,

So if I’m distant, it ain’t hate, it’s survival,

I’m just tryna make it out with my soul and my title.

I been hurting, I been tired, I been low,

Smile on my face but they don’t even know,

Every day feel heavy, every night too cold,

In this house I feel lost, but I won’t fold.

I been angry, I been numb, I been done,

Still I get back up, I still don’t run,

They can judge, they can stare, they can lie if they want,

But I’m still right here, yeah bitch I’m still strong.

Yeah this house got shadows,

Yeah this pain run deep,

But I’m not what they say,

And I’m not what they think.

I’m still here, still standing,

Even when I feel gone,

And one day I’ma leave,

And they’ll hear this song.