Ticked Off But Timeful

[Verse 1]
Busted heirloom on my table
Gears in a Ziploc bag
Someone said, “It made a funny noise”
Then hit it with a shopping mag
Granddad’s clock, four generations
Now it wheezes when it chimes
You break ’em in a couple minutes
I date ’em back a hundred times
[Chorus]
I’m fixin’ all your tragic TikToks
Nah, kid, that’s not how you wind a clock
If you have to use a hammer, maybe just stop (just stop)
You bring me all your tortured antiques
Ask if I can make ’em “ring on beat”
I’m the doctor of destroyed antiques
Your favorite time-fixing freak
[Verse 2]
One guy “cleaned” his cuckoo bird
With dish soap and a hose
Now the bird just coughs at noon
And points wherever it thinks north goes
You glued the pendulum to the case (why?)
You stapled springs into the wall (who does that?)
Then wonder why time’s running late
Buddy, time’s scared of you, that’s all
[Chorus]
I’m fixin’ all your tragic TikToks
Nah, kid, that’s not how you wind a clock
If you have to use a hammer, maybe just stop (hey!)
You bring me all your tortured antiques
Ask if I can make ’em “ring on beat”
I’m the doctor of destroyed antiques
Your favorite time-fixing freak
[Bridge]
You say, “Can you make it play my playlist?”
I say, “It’s from 1802”
You say, “So just add Bluetooth, right?”
I say, “It survived a war, not you”
[soft sax riff, finger snaps]
[Chorus]
I’m fixin’ all your tragic TikToks
If it ticks, you’ll probably make it stop
Then drag it in a grocery bag to my shop (oh no)
You bring me all your tortured antiques
Ask if I can make ’em “vibe this week”
I keep time for every lost antique
But I can’t fix what you did last week

jazz, Laid-back smooth jazz with brushed drums, upright bass walking lazily, and warm Rhodes chords; male vocals lean playful and sly, with sax fills answering punchlines. Choruses open up with stacked background “doo-bah”s, bridge drops to bass and snaps before a final cheeky tag., smooth jazz