Verity's Ballad

I used to think the smoke could save me,

But all it ever did was drag me slow.

Every hit just bought me silence,

Now even that don’t show.

I watch the hours bleed like nothin’,

Same routine, same fallin’ through.

Ain’t no rock bottom when you live there—

Ain’t no start when you’re just seein’ it through.

So call this out—don’t soften the sound,

I’m a shadow that never laid down.

Still usin’ just to make the pain sit still,

But it don’t—it just changes the kill.

I ain’t lookin’ for your pity.

Call this out,

Call it real,

Call it the hell

That I feel.

Ain’t no dreams left worth chasin’,

They all burned out in the glass.

I don’t cry, I don’t pray,

I just wait for the hours to pass.

I’ve hurt folks I still love,

And loved folks I never knew.

But the dope don’t judge me different—

It just does what it came to do.

So call this out—don’t soften the sound,

I’m a shadow that never laid down.

Still usin’ just to make the pain sit still,

But it don’t—it just changes the kill.

I ain’t lookin’ for your pity.

Call this out,

Call it real,

Call it the hell

That I feel.

Ain’t no dreams, just the next hit,

And maybe a voice that don’t give me shit.

I lie to myself just to get through the night,

Say I’ll stop—then I flick that light.

Ain’t redemption, ain’t hope, ain’t some sweet escape—

It’s just smoke in my lungs, and a name I hate.

So call this out—don’t soften the sound,

I’m a shadow that never laid down.

Still usin’ just to make the pain sit still,

But it don’t—it just changes the kill.

I ain’t lookin’ for your pity.

Call this out,

Call it real,

Call it the hell

That I feel.