Getting lost at nights
It happens every time
World spinnin
My head too
Hearing melodies
Life now isn’t harmony
Living hell
Not scared but drifting
Away from who I am
What I stand for
Boundaries gone
Over and over again Walked on
Told you the pain
How I wanted to die
You just stood there
Said “I’m sorry” walked away
Watched me cry
I wanted to die.
So many times to your words
Told you and was open
Emotions misinterpreted
You thinking I got issues
When you the cause of these tears
Your words
your actions
The tone no satisfaction
I hate you and I love you
I want you and I don’t
Here I am
Now I’m gone
A day now here from not supposed to be breathing
Writing this song
Watching my son Sleepin
Crying over where you at
Fuck that.
Lost.
Lost in everything.
My mind
Emotions
Cant eat
Not hungry
Cant sleep
Anxiety creepin like fire inside me
Lighting hits all over my body
Mind racing panic help me
Friends so afar no family hears
All of my reality worst fears
I cry to you shaking, help me!
Doors closed by choice
My world is lost
Telling “leave me alone”
Considering only your emotions
No empathy
No sympathy
Just blank stares
In these moments I wish you saw your face
In these moments I wish you could see
That you put all your pain on and inside me
Lack of knowing how to deal with YOUR own emotions
I’m always there for you in those moments
But never reciprocated
This test of breakdown mania
From blaming my self hysteria
Yes I got mental health issues
I got autism
I got anxiety
I got depression
I got OCD
One thing you can’t say
Is honesty and reflection
I know who I am and treat other with respect, love, patience, and affection
I’ve been honest you’ve been inconsistent
Your words and actions are two different people
Your tone and attitude are presented opposite of what you think
You’re in for a hard reality honey
I won’t let you
Make me lose myself
Again.
Lost.